As I Wash My Hands

As I wash my hands in the morning I think about the day’s ride into work. Will there be any troubles starting the bike? How will she run once I’m finally on the road? Will she take awhile to warm up? And how cold will the ride in be? Will I remember to breathe? How bad are the other drivers going to be? Will I have to pull some wild evasive maneuver? Will I wreck or get hit? Will I even make it to work?

I put my jacket on, grab my helmet/gloves/glasses, leave the apartment, lock the door, head to the garage, notice the temp, unlock the wheel, turn on the switch, insert the key, pull the choke, start the bike, release the choke, listen to how cold she is, zip up my jacket, tighten the belt, put on my left glove, adjust the fingers, put on my right glove, adjust the fingers, put on my helm, tighten the strap, put on my glasses, climb on the bike, push it out of the space, open the garage door, ride to the street, and enter traffic.

It’s dark, why aren’t their headlights on? There sure are a lot of trucks with painters. Why is this car is going so slow? Where are they going in such a hurry? I bet that car will pull out in front of me. Fucker, why the fuck did you pull out in front of me? Are you fucking blind, or just stupid? Idiots. Breathe. Another red light? So this is how it’s going to be? I hate this intersection. Someone is baking this morning. I need to wash my mirrors. Okay we’re moving again. Of course someone decides to run the light, of course. Fucking drivers. I need to get over to the right up here. Why is this guy on my ass? I hate this section of the street, when the fuck are they going to fix it? It’s probably going to be a sinkhole at some point. I’ve got to make a right turn, I wonder if this guy will rear end me at that point, or slow down? Great there’s someone in the crosswalk. Breathe. Is this guy stopping? Finally, no traffic. I love this part, time to open the throttle and blow the carb. Is that a cop? Almost there. Why’s the crosswalk light flashing? Ugh. Breathe. The light is green, why aren’t you moving? Finally the parking lot.

I dry my hands off, make a face at myself in the mirror, try to laugh at myself, put on my jacket, grab my helmet/gloves/glasses, leave the apartment, lock the door, and head to the garage.