Cholo in a Ford Tempo

So today could have been a great day. It was warm outside without being too warm. It was sunny. I went to the farmer’s market and picked up things for a recipe, then I decided to go for a ride. So I headed out and intended on taking the long way to the store. That was my mistake I guess.

I’m on Sunset, near the 99cent store in my hood for those of you who know, when this silvery blue Ford Tempo starts to cut into my lane. He doesn’t but cuts back over to his lane. I’m in the inside lane, so he’s on my right. I figured he just didn’t see me. But a little while later he starts cutting over again, and he’s all over the lane. So I start thinking he’s drunk. I keep avoiding him, trying to keep from getting hit, and he keeps swerving into my lane.

I start to realize something is up. I’m no stranger to people who just plain don’t like bikers, maybe because of some incident on the freeway, or because someone fucked their old lady, but it’s common to see people intentionally turning into me. And the moral police, known here in Los Angeles as the LAPD, aren’t around to actually uphold the law and protect and serve. But if you let someone merge into your lane, they’re on your ass about everyone waiting their turn. So no cops were around, of course.

So the cholo pulls up next to me and starts shouting out his window at me. “Sup? Sup foo?” I look over and respond “what?” He then asks me if I have some sort of problem and continues saying “sup” over and over as if he were a broken record. And I keep trying to avoid getting hit. We finally catch up to some traffic and I split lanes (which is legal in California) and get in front of the traffic. I figured this would solve the problem. Well, it didn’t. He cuts into oncoming traffic to bust around the traffic in front of him, then cuts back over in front of me, attempting to get me to hit him in the process by laying on the brakes as he enters (from the left) my lane in front of me.

Now he’s back in the lane to my right and slows down so that he can get next to me. He leans over as if he’s grabbing something from the passenger side of the car. He’s still all over his lane. That’s when I just take off. My bike is fine for daily cruising around town, but when the shit hits the fan and you need to get out of there, it can apply enough power to really get up and get out of there.

He’s determined. So he has his Tempo screaming as he once again rolls up next to me and tries once again to knock me from the bike. Each time he’s been doing this I keep cutting left and trying to avoid him. I try slowing down, he slows down, when I speed up, he speeds up. This is getting ridiculous at this point. I’m looking for a way out, as I really don’t feel like hitting pavement, and I’m not really dressed for it. Luckily for him, this is a stretch of Sunset with very few options for me. So I just have to hope that I can make it to the next major street.

He keeps trying, and occasionally he looks like he’s reaching over to grab a weapon. And then there’s the constant shouting “Sup foo. You gotta problem?” out the window. So finally an opening comes up where I can make a hard left and get off of Sunset. This does involve cutting across lanes of traffic and being a dick to those people but at this point I’m only concerned about my safety. And I can pull off this maneuver without getting hit. So I make a hard left and cut down a side street. I then assume that if he’s insane enough to pull off everything he’s done so far, he may try to follow. So I turn down through side streets off that street and just basically try to get intentionally lost. I find one of my favorite places to pull over, and stop and wait for awhile.

After a few minutes, and calming down, I continue on my ride to the grocery store that I was originally intending to head to. I’ll admit there was an adrenaline rush, but I think there are too many people out there on the road looking for some sort of Mad Max or Fast And The Furious type of experience. So it becomes very dangerous to those of us on motorcycles who are simply just trying to enjoy a ride, in this case, to the store for groceries.

Twice this week it seems the people of Los Angeles, through their own bullshit driving skills, have tried to make my mom and little brother richer people. Sure I guess there is the loss of me, but whatever, they’ll get cash and a pretty good chunk of it. And because of each situation, I think it’s made me more and more cautious while out and about, but it also made me think that perhaps I need something for defense. And in California, that thing can’t be a sidearm, because they don’t want you to be able to defend yourself agains unwarranted attackes from the local police force. So that leaves only criminals with weapons illegally and creates a situation where those of us who only wish to protect ourselves, because our police force is the enemy, can no longer protect ourselves.

So that’s where Timax comes in. Yeah, I may not be able to legally carry a gun, but how about a legal version of titanium knuckles? Sure, they make em, and they are for protection while riding motorcycles. Granted they are expensive, and they do have a sort of Mad Max look to them, but we the unprotected need to do something, since our police force is unable or unwilling to help. So I guess it’s time to make an investment in some new, titanium plated gloves. This may be the final step before turning vigilante.